The Koi Pond
by goodgollymolly
Summary: Kurt and Blaine get into some shenanigans in the Garden Center at Home Depot.  Running away from security?  Just part of an average day.


A/N: Ask and ye shall receive! Here is a sequel to Sword Fight. I hope you all like it! Thanks again for all the reviews/favorites/alerts! You are all awesome, and I want to give you hugs and cookies. :)

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><p>"But Kurt," Blaine whined, "your dad said that we should go to Walmart to get the gardening stuff! Why are we going to Home Depot? They don't even have a toy section!"<p>

"We can't show our faces in Walmart after the sword fighting debacle! They probably have our pictures on some wall, and once we enter the store they'll pick us up and take us to some secret room and torture us until-"

"Okay, okay," Blaine laughed, "you're so cute when you get flustered."

"I'm sorry, I would just hate for either one of us to get arrested this time," Kurt stammered, "last time was way too close of a call!"

"The cops just called your dad, it wasn't so terrible." Blaine rolled his eyes at Kurt.

"Wasn't so terrible? Wasn't so terrible? The cops called my dad! My dad, who, as you recall, grounded both of us. I'm technically still grounded, you just got let off the hook because your parents came back from Europe!"

Blaine was laughing hysterically, but managed to choke out, "You are so adorable like this! Oh my God, if you could see your face," then dissolved back into a fit of giggles.

"You think this is funny, Blaine Warbler? We can't show our faces in the Lima Walmart ever again, and it's all your fault!"

"You don't even like Walmart-you called it, and I quote, 'where culture goes to die'."

"It's the principle of the thing, Blaine. What if I need Nyquil at 3am? What then Blaine?"

"Walgreens," Blaine deadpanned, "Lima has a 24 hour Walgreens. Now let's get in the store! We have a list to fill!"

Blaine bounded out of Kurt's Navigator and went around to the driver door. "Come ON Kurt," he shouted, "it's time for more fun in a big box store."

"I swear to God, I should get a leash for you," Kurt said, slowly exiting the car.

"Who knows, I might like that," Blaine retorted, grabbing Kurt's hand.

"You're so embarrassing," Kurt hissed.

"I know," Blaine grinned.

They finally made it to the store, and had just gotten their cart when something caught Blaine's eye.

"Oh my God, you have to take my picture next to this!" Blaine was standing next to a four foot tall troll (or hobbit, Kurt wasn't sure) and was posing with it.

"Blaine, no," Kurt demanded, crossing his arms in front of his chest, "just no."

"But it's my nickname," Blaine pouted, "I have to have a picture with it!"

"Ugh, fine," Kurt groaned, "just let me get my cell pho-"

"Hey, you," Blaine called to a Home Depot employee, "take our picture? Please?"

"Um, sure," she answered back.

Blaine handed her his phone, then grabbed Kurt and pulled him over so he was standing on the other side of the troll.

"If this goes on Facebook, you're dead," Kurt hissed through his teeth.

"Worth it," Blaine smiled back.

The employee took the picture, then handed Blaine back his phone. She walked away shaking her head.

"Okay," Kurt sighed, "now that that's done, we need to get all the gardening stuff on this list, plus a few random things."

"Cool, so, gardening center, my dear?" Blaine hooked his elbow around Kurt's.

"Sounds good, so we need three bags of the Miracle Gro dirt stuff, some grass seed, and we're supposed to pick whatever flowers we like, because, according to my dad, 'we'll know about stuff like that.'"

"He does know that not all gay men are florists or color divas, right?"

"Yes," Kurt rolled his eyes, "he just knows that I have an eye for color."

"Point taken," Blaine said as he looked Kurt up and down.

They strolled arm in arm to the garden center, taking turns pushing the cart. However, when they got to the garden center, Kurt broke off to look at flowers.

"I think these hostas will look perfect in the yard! Oh, and these petunias, and these-"

Kurt felt something wet on his back. He turned around, red faced, to see Blaine, struggling to hide a hose behind his back.

"What?" Blaine said nonchalantly, "You looked like you were drying out and I know how much you like to be moisturized."

"Blaine Anderson, you little bitch!" Kurt lunged at Blaine who broke off into a run.

"You can't catch me," Blaine turned around, giving Kurt a nose trumpet.

"You could have ruined my jeans and they're Gucci, Blaine, Gucci!" Kurt was running after him, and, to be honest, was almost all caught up.

"Damn these short little legs," Blaine called, "this is unfair! You're like three inches taller!"

"When I catch you," Kurt huffed, "you will regret this!"

Blaine dove behind some pots in the garden center. He waited until he heard Kurt run past to exit his hiding place. He quietly crept around the corner, where he was met by Kurt, holding a hose.

"Did you think that I wouldn't notice the curly hair behind the pots? You're not inconspicuous at all!"

Blaine stuck his tongue out. "So, what're you going to do? Get me with your hose?" Blaine raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"Oh you," Kurt said, grinning mischievously, "you'd like that, wouldn't you?"

With that, Kurt turned on the full spray of the hose and drenched Blaine.

"This actually feels nice," Blaine called, "you're not hurting me."

Neither of them saw the employee creep up behind them. "Boys," the older employee admonished, "now stop that! We need to-"

"RUN!" Kurt yelled, dropping the hose and grabbing Blaine's hand.

"Oh my God, we probably wouldn't even have been in trouble," Blaine panted as Kurt dragged him, "now they're going to kick us out and it's going to be all your fault! I'm rubbing off on you!"

"Okay, Dapper McGee," he responded, "maybe it's just nice to let loose-OH MY GOD HE FOUND US!"

The employee was standing, talking to what looked like a security guard. He pointed at the boys and the guard yelled, "Boys, just stop, okay?"

Kurt and Blaine froze for a few seconds, then turned and ran down an aisle, still hand in hand. They thought that they had outrun both the guard and the employee, so they stopped and were panting next to the koi ponds. Blaine looked at Kurt and started laughing hysterically.

"What? What's so funny?" Kurt had let go of his hand and was standing, hands on his hips.

"Nothing," Blaine replied, "just, I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

"This," Blaine cried, pushing Kurt backwards into the koi pond.

When Kurt surfaced, Blaine was doubled over in laughter, tears streaming down his face. He looked at Blaine and grabbed his hand, grinning mischievously.

"Sorry," Kurt said playfully, before pulling Blaine into the pond with him.

"You suck," Blaine replied, still laughing, "but yeah, I deserved it."

Both boys started to laugh hysterically.

"Oh my God, we're sitting in a koi pond!" Kurt was practically howling.

"This is amazing, way better than a foam sword fight!"

"Holy shit, we're going to be in so much trouble! We need to get out of-"

"Hello gentlemen," said a cool voice, "care to come with me to the office?"

The security guard hoisted both boys out of the pond, keeping a hold on their wrists as he led them to the front of the store. Onlookers were gasping at the two soaking boys, pointing at them and laughing.

"This is the worst day of my life," Kurt hissed, "I hope you realize that."

"You're the one who said to run," Blaine whispered back, "I was just following instructions."

The smile he gave after that prompted Kurt to hiss back, "You jackass!"

"No talking!"

The guard had led them into the store manager's office, where they were told to sit in two chairs opposite the desk.

A tall man wearing a jacket and tie came into the office. Kurt started sniggering.

"Is something funny, young man?" The man sat behind his desk.

"No, nothing at all," Kurt laughed, "just that leather elbow patches went out in like, 1978."

Blaine kicked him, whispering, "Now is not the time to be a smart ass."

"You," the manager addressed Blaine, "quiet, I'm talking to your friend right now."

"Now, why did you boys see fit to terrorize the garden center?"

"He started it!" Kurt pointed at Blaine.

"He continued it," Blaine whined, "and he escalated it! He sprayed me down with the hose and then grabbed my hand and ran! I had no choice but to go with him."

"He shoved me into a koi pond! And I'm wearing designer! My pants cost twice what he's wearing!"

"This is a Lacoste polo, it's not exactly cheap!"

"It isn't a pair of Gucci jeans!"

"Boys," the manager groaned, rubbing his temples, "I don't care who started it. Just…just don't come back here for a while, okay? Can we do that? Also, I'll need your parents' phone numbers."

Kurt gulped, then squeaked out, "Is that really necessary? I drove us here, and really-"

"Yes, it's necessary. Now, are you brothers or-"

Blaine had started to laugh. "Brothers? Really? You think we look like brothers? Because it's kind of disgust-"

"Blaine," Kurt hissed as he kicked his shin.

"Ouch!"

"Okay, we'll start with you Curls," he said, pointing at Blaine, "number now!"

Blaine rattled off his dad's number, rolling his eyes. "Like he'll actually come and get me."

The manager called Blaine's dad, with the conversation mostly consisting of, "Yes sir, but sir, and okay, sir, send him with Mr. Hummel, yes."

The manager hung up the phone. "You're to go home with his dad," the manager said, pointing at Kurt, "now, what's Mr. Hummel's number?"

Kurt mumbled the number, and he could tell that the manager had gotten his dad right away. Particularly when he heard "WHAT? In a koi pond? I'll be right down there. Those two are going to give me another heart attack!" Upon hearing this, Kurt grasped Blaine's hand. Blaine shot him a sympathetic look.

The manager hung up the phone and gave both boys a stern look. "Mr. Hummel will be here in ten minutes. I'll wait with you two outside so there's no more swimming today."

He led them out of his office, hands on their backs. "Now boys, I don't want to see you terrorizing my store again, we clear? You can come back when you've decided to be model citizens."

"Yes sir," they chorused.

"There's my dad! Thank you sir," Kurt said, turning towards the manager, "thanks so much for not calling the police."

The manager gave them an inquisitive look, but by then both boys had bounded off into the minivan where a very angry looking Burt Hummel sat.

"Kurt, Blaine," Burt greeted them, "we need to have a talk. You're both good kids, and I think you're just having a bad week. Is it right to assume that?"

"Sir," Blaine began, "I can explain, it's just-"

"Blaine," Burt interrupted, "I understand, you're young, you're…in love…and you just want to let those hormones control you. I'm asking you to please put a lid on it before you both send me to an early grave."

"Okay, okay," Kurt almost chanted, "I think we're done after today's episode."

"Good," Burt said, "now I'm going to drop you both off at Kurt's car. Can you please get the things I asked you to? Just find a store, try not to get thrown out, and buy them, okay?"

"Okay dad," Kurt hung his head, "I'm sorry."

"Me too!" Blaine added.

"I know boys, just," Burt sighed, "just try not to get arrested? Please?"

"Yes dad."

"Yes Mr. Hummel."

They got out of the van and got into Kurt's Navigator.

"Wow," Kurt murmured, "my dad didn't kill us. He wasn't even really mad."

"I know. That was almost scary calm."

Blaine leaned over the center console and turned Kurt's head towards him. "Kiss me you fool!" Blaine cried.

Kurt leaned in and lightly kissed him.

"What was that?" Blaine looked hurt, "That was a grandma kiss. You kissed me like a relative, which would be kind of gross."

"Fine," Kurt leaned a little more and pulled Blaine in for a deep kiss, "better?"

"Much. Thanks. Now on to Target!"

"On to Target!" Kurt responded. "Now no throwing me into ponds, moats, or fountains, cool?"

"Maybe," Blaine muttered, "but no promises."


End file.
